BLuSH
by Keeper of Tomes
Summary: When a certain goddess shows up in Piper's room and starts asking her some very...suggestive questions, things begin to spiral in strange directions for the female Storm Hawk. Taking a break from PR and the 100 Challenge to bring you weirdness.
1. Unwanted Visitor

This is going to be hilarious. I can _feel _it in my bones.

Now. I promised you a silly follow-up to 'April Fools,' but this is better. It's a little...out there, but that's because all my weird has no place to go, and I need a place to vent. So...yeah. Thanks for reading this far. I realize author's notes are annoying, but they often provide information that can turn out to be important. Unlike this one; this one's just filler so that my screen looks cool.

To coconutter, who asked for something funny. I apologize dearly for pulling you into this, pal. It's infested you with mindworms, I can tell. (Yes. We're friends in the real world, too. Deal with it.)

Inspired by a commercial I saw for this new show called 'Valentine.' Ah-yah. I get ideas from all places. ;)

* * *

**BLuSH**

The morning of THE INCIDENT, Piper was busy doing the laundry. If she had known beforehand about THE INCIDENT, she no doubt would have been taking measures to avoid THE INCIDENT. However, she did not know about THE INCIDENT, for if she did, this story would have no meaning, and I wouldn't be here.

Moving on.

"FINN! You threw the whites in with the colors again!" she shouted. No response. Where was that...?

His head popped into the laundry room, face covered in what looked like facial cream. "What?!" he snarled. "Dude, I was in the middle of my morning cleaning routine. If you're going to interrupt The Chick Machine during his morning cleaning routine, it'd better be for something good."

Piper merely held up a very messy white sheet in response. The colors had bled all over it, making it look like rather creative tie-dye.

Finn just scowled. "Jeesh. You call me over here to show me your artwork? Lame." Then he turned and left.

Piper sighed and tossed the sheet aside; laundry could wait. She needed a nap to escape from the headache that was beginning to take over her senses. Walking down the hallway, she stumbled into her room and prepared to collapse into bed...only to see that someone was already in it.

"Hello, dear. Mind the nails, would you?"

"HOLY-!"

OOO

A/N: Interesting...

Poll involving this story shall be up on my profile. Hopefully by the time you read this...


	2. Disgusting Memories

"-FUDGE!"

Lying, (in a rather "suggestive" pose, might I add,) on Piper's bed, was a fair-skinned, curvy, dark-haired woman, with a genial smile on her face that showed pearly white teeth that glittered like...

Well, like normal teeth shouldn't _glitter_, I suppose.

She sat up and examined her perfectly manicured nails, then glanced at Piper, who was rather dumbfounded, as you might expect.

"Who...who..." she stammered, incoherently.

"Darling, if you're going to talk, please, get to the point," the woman drawled, her voice smooth as silk.

"Who are you?" Piper managed. "What's your name? And...what are you DOING in my ROOM?"

"Psht. That's neither here nor there." She flicked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "But...if you _really _want to know..."

"Yes, I do. And I want to know now. Quickly." Piper sat down on her chair and commenced to glare darkly at the stranger, who merely smiled and lay back down on the mattress, as if she had all the time in the world.

"I go by _many _names, dear. Ishtar, Isis, Aphrodite, Venus, the list goes on. Currently, I think Lucinda sounds nice." She smiled wickedly. "You can call me whatever you wish. I can _be _whoever you wish." With that, she stood, reached out, and placed a pale hand on Piper's chest.

A gulp. Three heartbeats. And standing before her was her first crush, a boy who's name she'd forgotten until today. Three more heartbeats. Another boy, someone who didn't matter... Thump, thump, thump. Another face, only this one didn't make her just cringe or grin. It made her stand and throw the woman's hand away.

"Stop." A swallow of dry and painful air. "I know who you are."

The woman merely sat back down and feigned a gasp. "Oh, my. I've been found out. What_ever _shall I do?"

"You're the goddess of love. Aren't you?" Piper shouted.

"Honey, shh. We wouldn't want the others to be privvy to our conversation, now would we?" She smiled a red lipped smile. "Seems like all those memories hurt. A lot. One in particular..." She feigned sympathy. "But...that's why I'm here."

"Why you're here?" Piper whispered.

"Well, yes, dear. That's what I said," the goddess snapped, tart and brisk. "I'm here to help you fall in _love_."

OOO

A/N: The poll's at a tie. So.

Go vote.

I won't even say please, because it's not a request, it's a DEMAND.


	3. Nudge, Nudge

"F-f-fall in love?" Her heart flipped around and skipped about ten beats.

The woman...

I'm getting a bit sick of calling her "the woman." Anyways...

The woman frowned. "Darling, if you're going to keep on repeating what I say, then I'm just going to have to stop talking."

Piper collapsed onto the bed next to the goddess. This was waaay too surreal. Few things surprised the female navigator, but this...this...this was just out of it. In more than one creepy manner. "Okay," she managed at last. "Firstly...what should I call you? You gave me, like, fifty gazillion names to work with."

"Venus will do, dear," the goddess drawled. "Those Vaposians come up with the most _charming _titles..."

"And secondly...who am I supposed to be falling in love with?"

Venus' look turned into one of total exasperation. "Piper, I thought you were supposed to be smart! Think back about, oh...three minutes or so."

Piper's eyes widened. "Not...not _him_. I don't even know why you showed him to me. I don't love...I don't even like...he's...he's..."

"And that's what I'M here for. To give you a gentle...nudge in the right direction."

"Shove's more like it." Piper glared at the deity darkly. "And what if I don't consent to your...'nudging'?"

Venus laughed. And trust me, you do _not _want to hear the laugh of a goddess. It sounds so wicked, so beautiful, so enchanting, all at the same time, that your head is liable to turn into a thousand tiny pieces. As soon as she'd quieted, and Piper had shaken off her headache, Venus shrugged. "You can't resist the power of love, Piper. It's impossible."

"I was afraid you'd say that." No more glares left. Just an empty sigh. "But what about him? What if _he _doesn't want to...you know..."

"Oh, I've already got someone else working on that," Venus chuckled. "Don't you worry. Dooon't you worry..."

OOO

A/N: But we still don't know who 'he' is...

Because I'm evil like that. Poll is closed, a winner is decided, and you'll have to wait until _next _time. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


	4. More Unwanted Visitors!

Aerrow woke up to noise.

Someone was in his room, and he knew it.

He knew because that someone had just knocked over something big and heavy near the door, and was now spewing curses like a fountain. Aerrow blinked his eyes to wake himself up, then sprang out of bed, grabbing his blades and opening the curtains on his window in one fluid movement. "WHO GOES THERE?"

Imagine his surprise to see a short, buff little guy with a chiseled face, smiling at him from the doorway. He was dressed in what looked to be a very high quality suit, with his short blond hair slicked back. A good word to describe his demeanor would be "oily." And in one hand was a bow. Strung to his back was a quiver of arrows.

"You Aerrow?" he drawled.

Aerrow nodded.

"Hi. I'm Eros. Nice to meet you." He extended a pale hand. Aerrow just glared. Eros shrugged, then let his arm drop to his side. "Whatev. Don't know me, huh? I go by Cupid, too, and-"

"What. Are. You. Doing. In. My. ROOM."

"Oh, _that_'s what's gotcha worried. I'm here on my mother's orders."

"Who's your mother?" Aerrow demanded, raising his weapons menacingly.

"A woman by the name of...Well, that doesn't matter. What matters is that _you," -_he pointed at Aerrow- "Are going to fall in love with _her_." He pointed at one of the walls. The wall that separated Aerrow's room from...

"WHAT? HER? PIPER? NO!" Aerrow shouted, letting his blades clatter to the floor. "I don't...she's just a...friend..."

"Look, pal," Eros growled, raising his bow and reaching for an arrow, "We can do this the easy way, or we can-"

And that's when the BOOM happened.

OOO

A/N: Oh, my...

But is it Aerrow? I mean, it could always--

I'll be quiet.


	5. The Chapter That Seems to Have No Point

Snipe was snoring.

Very.

Loudly.

The walls of his bedroom shook with each rattling breath. His neighbors buried their heads underneath pillows and tried to drown out the horrible noise, to no avail. The Dark Ace stumbled out of his bed and to the closet, dressing hurriedly, before barging over to Snipe's room and banging vigorously on the door.

"SNIPE! Wake up or I'll kill you!" he shouted.

Only to have about fifty rather angry Talons jut their heads out of their respective doors, blinking sleepily. With a growl and a roar, the Dark Ace trudged to the mess hall for a brief breakfast.

His crystal pager buzzed.

Oh, hell, what _now_?

Storming to Master Cyclonis' chambers, he bowed rather hastily. She was sitting in her throne, looking at him expectantly. "I've got a new mission for you, Dark Ace," she drawled. "One that involves a lot of...tact."

_Couldn't she have waited until I ate breakfast? _he thought to himself, aggravated. "Yes?" he said out loud. "Master?"

"Snipe and Ravess-"

"If this mission involves tact, then why in God's name is Snipe coming?"

Cyclonis glared for a few moments at him for his irreverence, before continuing. "Snipe is annoying me. I want him out of the palace. Moving on: We've received reports that the Storm Hawks are near Terra Saharr. I want you to launch a surprise attack on them, is that understood?"

Dark Ace groaned inwardly.

"Dark Ace?" Cyclonis hissed, her voice dangerously soft.

"Yes, Master..."

OOO

A/N: Hmmm...

I'm interested...

And I'm the person writing it. No, I didn't just pull this out randomly. It has a purpose. BLARGH!


	6. Lab Rat

"Look. I don't know _why _you've decided to make me your victim-"

"...subject, dear, subject..."

"...subject, but I _really _don't get why you have to put Aerrow through this, too."

"Well, darling, my mission in life is to make people fall in love!" Venus leaned back and savored the shocked look on Piper's face. She pressed a pale and slim finger to her own blood red lips. "Shh! I hear voices!" she said, her voice all sing-songy.

"...Hi. I'm Eros..." wafted in from next door. Piper slapped her forehead.

"That's my boy," Venus mumbled, pleased with herself. "Although I can't say I care much for that _wife _of his..."

"I'm going over there," Piper concluded, and started for the door. Venus just sighed and snapped her finger; a faint beeping sound was all Piper needed to hear to know that the door was locked. She rounded on the goddess, amber eyes flashing rebelliously.

"Sorry, dear, but we can't interrupt-"

"WE can't, but I can, because that's _my _love life that's falling apart over there-"

"Darling, you don't _have _a love life," Venus exclaimed, her voice amused, to say the least.

And then there came...

A.

BOOM.

OOO

A/N: Oooh, la laaaa...


	7. Attacks Aplenty!

The Condor wafted into the Dark Ace's line of vision, Ravess and Snipe peeking out from behind his skimmer.

Three other Talons were with them, and that was the extent of their force. Six people against six, how fair...

The Master had specified that they were to sneak up on the ship, then launch a full scale attack, aiming for the engines; the goal was to temporarily put the Storm Hawks out of commission, while she worked on a more permanent plan.

Dark Ace raised his sword and fired.

BOOM!

Dust everywhere!

Meanwhile, inside the ship, Aerrow and Eros coughed as a portion of the Sky Knight's room was blasted away. The dust cleared, and the two men saw, quite clearly, six skimmers, all with Cyclonian emblems on them.

"Dark Ace," Aerrow growled. There came a scurrying, and Piper burst into the room, a woman trailing her, shouting something about how the plan mustn't be messed up. Eros looked exasperated when the new arrival came bursting in.

"Mom!" he whined. "I thought you said you wouldn't interfere!"

"Well, we weren't exactly planning-"

"LOOK OUT!"

The Dark Ace was readying to fire once more. Venus didn't looked miffed in the slightest; she merely snapped her fingers. Everyone watched in shock and amazement as his skimmer chocked, spluttered, then gave out entirely. He barely had time to jump off the doomed ride, through the hole in the Condor's wall, and into Aerrow's room.

Venus was about to snap her fingers once more, to banish this pesky nuisance of a man to...well, an alternate dimension, when she noticed that Eros was standing conveniently close to Aerrow. She turned to her son and shouted, "EROS! Go through with the plan! NOW!"

Eros looked about quizzically for a few moments, noticed Aerrow, and grinned, before pulling out one of his heart-tipped weapons and notching it in his bow.

Suddenly...

...and this is the cool part...

...Dark Ace sprang up from the ground, oblivious to the suited little creature that was taking aim for a certain Sky Knight. He only had one thought in his mind: Kill. Aerrow. Pushing the red head aside and to the ground, he paused to leer for a moment.

And that moment was a BIG problem.

Eros let fly, solely based on instinct, the moment Dark Ace jumped to his feet. But his target was shoved aside, to be replaced by someone else...

For the Dark Ace, it was a moment of sharp and stinging pain in his shoulder, followed by a prolonged darkness...

OOO

A/N: I rock at cliffhangers.


	8. Like a Lovestruck Puppy

He blinked his eyes groggily.

Everything was so...so...so...

...hazy.

Someone was shaking him worriedly. Someone _else _was roaring in rage at a person. The person being roared at was silent.

That was the extent of Dark Ace's knowledge on his surroundings.

Oh, and the fact that he was lying on a cold, hard, floor. Did I mention it was cold? And hard? And his head was hurting like no tomorrow? Strangely enough, he remembers getting shot in the shoulder, but there's no pain. Where's the frickin' pain?!

The person shaking him stops when they realize his eyes are open.

"Dude...duuuude...Dude," someone says, "Did I shoot you?"

Dark Ace sits up and feels his shoulder. No blood. No pain. Not even a bruise. He shrugs, then clears his throat. "I don't know. And who the _he-_"

"OH! He's up!" The person who had been screaming in rage rushes over. The first face he sees. It's one of the Storm Hawks...that girl, Pi-

His chain of thought is cut off by another chain of thought. Only the second one is strangely...strange. _She's...she's...beautiful,_ he finds himself thinking. She turns and points at another woman, sulking in the corner.

"Look, Venus. I don't know _what _happened, but it's definitely-"

"Oh, it's bad, alright. It's bad because Eros shot..._him_," she growled, pointing at the Dark Ace, _"...instead _of Aerrow."

"Which means...? Oh, no..." Piper whammed her head into the wall. "Pleeaaase, no..."

"Oh, yes. It means he'll start dancing around you like a lovesick puppy in a couple of minutes. And things will escalate, and escalate, and esca-"

"SHUT UP! You've just ruined my life, made my second worst enemy fall in LOVE with me, wrecked the ship, gave my friends nervous breakdowns to last them lifetimes, and to cap it off...to cap it off...Well, actually, I think that's it." Piper pointed an accusing finger at Venus, then at the Dark Ace, who was still situated on the floor, looking at Piper with a suspicious glaze over his eyes. "You're going to make him stop. NOW."

"I can't take back true love-"

"It's NOT true love, it's induced love, caused by your kid's stupid little sticks! Make him stop...stop..._looking _at me like that!"

"Darling, what part of 'I can't' do you not get?" Venus hissed. "The 'I', or the 'can't'? He's stuck like this, he's going to be stuck like this, until you...well..."

"Well, what?"

"Kiss him, I suppose."

Piper blinked a few times, trying to let the words sink in.

And then came the second boom of the day.

"WHAT?!"

Venus just sighed..._No one appreciates love nowadays. Absolutely no one_, she thought to herself.

OOO

A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The plot bunny returns...to KILL!

This should be good.


	9. Repercussions Await

"We should just keep him there. Forever." Aerrow looked smug as the Dark Ace paced about in his "prison," which was actually just a knocked up box with scrap metal plating.

"I wish," Finn grumbled. "So...lemme get this straight." He turns to face Venus. "You're the goddess of love? Can you, like, make chicks totally dig me? Like, forever?"

Venus tilted her head a bit to one side, playful. "I'll see what I can do," she yawns, stretching. "Oh, Zeus, it's been a long day...I think I'll have some ambrosia and go to bed..."

"Oh, no, you don't," Aerrow growled, grabbing her hand. "Ah!" A gasp escaped his mouth; her skin burned like fire. She smiled wryly.

"Men cannot touch me without feeling flames encircle their veins," she whispered. "It's just how I work."

Finn was practically drooling, by now. "...you're hot," he said, eyes blank. Venus merely flicked her hair behind her ears and placed her hands on her hips.

"Now, look here, Sky Knight," she said, addressing Aerrow. "It's not my fault my plans went haywire. I'm a goddess, not God. So don't go around blaming me. Things happen, alright? So your enemy's in love with your navigator. It's no big deal."

"No big de...Are you kidding me?!" Aerrow shouted. Dark Ace looked up.

"Who's kidding who?" he grumbled.

"You...shut up," Aerrow barked at his prisoner. "And you," he hissed at Venus, "Are going to fix this. We're not flying around with this...this...thing, for the rest of our lives. Does the spell wear off, or...?"

"Love, dear, doesn't wear off. Ever."

"Don't you _dear _me, lady, you're gonna-"

Venus slapped him across the face. Aerrow's cheek burned so badly, he felt as if a hot iron had been pressed to it. He looked up to see Venus' clear blue eyes flashing with anger. "You will treat me," she whispered, her voice dangerously soft, "With respect. Else I'll feed you to the dogs of Hades. Understood?" Aerrow nodded, slowly. "Now. There is _one _way we can make the spell go away."

"What is it?" Aerrow asked.

"Piper has to make the Dark Ace hate her beyond comprehension. She has to do something so horrible, so painful to him, that he'll be shocked out of his lovestruck daze and return to his normal state of loathing." Venus paused. "But this has repercussions, Aerrow. If this backfires..."

"Then what?"

Venus shook her head. "You don't want to know, Sky Knight." Pause. "You _really _don't want to know..."

Finn groaned. "Pfft. Why do I always end up with the doom and gloom ones? Later." And he trudged off towards the hanger bay.


	10. Great News, Or Is It

"This so totally sucks."

Piper leaned against the wall of Aerrow's demolished room, watching Stork patch things up diligently with his welding gun. He flipped the lid of his helmet up and grimaced. "The Dark Ace is in love with you, Piper. 'Sucks' would be an understatement."

"Point taken." The doors slid open, and in stepped Eros, busy talking on what looked like a tiny radio.

"Yeah, hon...I can't come home tonight...Official business, afraid I can't divulge-What do you mean, 'The cat died'?...Oh. Yes, dear. Yes, dear. Ye-Okay, dear. Bye." He hung up, then slapped his forehead with his free hand. "Why, oh, _why _did I get married...?"

"Because you loved her?" Piper suggested. Eros grinned.

"Yeah, probably."

Venus burst into the room, trailing a drooling Finn and a bitter Aerrow. She pointed at Piper. "Good news!" she proclaimed. "Piper, dear, don't go near your prisoner for a while. Keep your face from entering his line of vision. He'll go haywire if he sees you."

"Oh, yeah, greeeeat news..."

Venus sighed. "Well, Eros and I must be off. But we promise to return tomorrow."

"What kind of promise is this? The 'I promise nothing's going to go wrong and then everything goes wrong!' one, or the kind that _you _might actually go through with?" Piper growled, seething.

"The latter, dear. Eros!"

"Yeah, mum."

"We're off, darling. Toodles!" And before anyone could object, Venus snapped her fingers, and she and her delinquent of a son were gone.

Piper stormed to her room and fell into bed.

OOO

A/N: Obviously, Venus doesn't know the meaning of the word, "COMMITMENT."


	11. The Great Escape

He couldn't sleep, that night.

Her face invaded his dreams, poisoned his rest, and his imagination won every single battle he fought within himself.

Burning, blazing, white-hot fire crackled within the cavity of his chest. He needed to see her. He so desperately _needed_..._needed_...

Standing, the Dark Ace faced the barred door before him. What mattered more? His sanity, or her safety? But how was he endangering her? Wouldn't she be safer with him? No pesky, stupid, idiotic little boys, dragging her down. Just him and her and the world. With this new reasoning in hand, the Dark Ace rammed the door with his shoulder.

It popped open noisily.

He stopped.

Nothing moved. Just a ripple of white moonlight, on the floor of his cell. With a maniacal grin plastered to his face, he crept down the hallway, looking for her room.

Aha. Here. It wasn't even locked; was she waiting for him? He slipped inside noiselessly and found her, fast asleep, sprawled on her bed. She hadn't even bothered changing out of her uniform. Quietly, gently, so as not to wake her up, he slipped his arms beneath her back and her legs, lifted her off the mattress, and out the door.

The hangar bay was filled with skimmers, but he took Aerrow's for some strange and unnameable reason. And then, it was just a matter of taking off, into the big blue-black and starry sky.

Free.

With _her_.

OOO

A/N: Plot twist number...

I lost track.


	12. Hundred Miles to Search

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'SHE'S GONE'?"

Finn sighed, exasperated. "I mean, she's gone. I mean, she's not in her bed. I mean, the Dark Ace broke out in the middle of the night, kidnapped Piper, and is probably-"

"Stop. Right. There." Aerrow couldn't bear to hear what outrageous scenarios Finn had concocted, mostly because he feared they were true. "Where's Venus when you need her?"

"Right here, darlings!"

A flash of light, and the smell of sea foam and lavender, filled the room, as Venus appeared, dazzling as always. Her pure white dress clung to her form most seductively, complete with sparkling gold girdle. Today, her hair was blazing red, eyes emerald green. She could've been Aerrow's hot older sister. Give or take a thousand years or two.

"Venus! Just in time. Piper's gone-"

"...oh, my..."

"-and the Dark Ace took her." Finn smiled smugly. "See? See? I figured that out. I'm smart, and hot." He arched his eyebrows.

"Well, then, we're just going to have to get Piper back, aren't we? Oh, and does she know what she has to do to break the spell?"

"Eh...I didn't really get around to telling her..." Aerrow laughed, sheepish. "Whoops."

Venus glared at him tartly. "Eros should be arriving-"

"Whuddup, peeps!" Another brief sparkle of light, and Eros stood before them, only he looked the same as the day previous. A brief yawn escaped him. "How can I help you?"

"Piper's gone."

"And Dark Ace took her."

"WHEW! You guys just can't manage without mom and me, huh?" He smirked. "Whaddya want us to do?"

Aerrow sighed. "Oh, I dunno...FIND HER, maybe?!" he barked. Eros didn't even flinch.

"Look, man. I didn't pass up one of Psyche's awesome omelette's just to hear you shout at me, ai'ight? Now. Mother here can track them as long as they're in a hundred-mile radius."

"How's that?" Aerrow asked. "I mean, why only a hundred miles?"

"Because old Zeus doesn't like it when his kids have too much power, that's why," Venus hissed. "Technically, Poseidon's my dad...I was borne from the sea...but, Zeus always did like to claim the best for himself..."

"Spare us the history lesson? Please? I mean, you're hot, but..." Finn whined.

Venus shot him an exasperated look. _Men._

OOO

A/N: Getting smoky in here.

No, really. I burned my toast.

So it literally is...smoky.


	13. Secrets of the Universe, and A Freak

She'd woken up to some really freaky things.

One: The Dark Ace had kidnapped her.

Two:...

So maybe it was only _one _freaky thing. But considering what that one freaky thing was, well...

Piper had a right to be totally freaked out.

--

The Storm Hawks had to stop at a supply depot to pick up a skimmer for Aerrow and Radarr, but after that, they were on their way. Eros merely glided along in the sky, wings unnecessary; Venus, however, refused to look like a total doofus while flying, and stayed on the ship with Stork, much to the Merb's distress. They stayed in contact via radio.

She had tracked the missing couple to a small terra near Atmosia; the hope was that they weren't planning on moving anytime soon.

About halfway there, something chirped in Eros' pocket. For a moment, everyone thought it was a bird, so imagine their surprise when he pulled out a flat, rectangular-shaped thing that looked like some sort of radio. Because he put it to his ear and said, "Hello?" Even though there wasn't an antennae, or even a visible speaker!

"Hey, Psyche! Yeah. Just lettin' you know to keep dinner warm, I might not be back to Olympus for a while yet...Yeah, toots. Bye." He pressed his thumb to the square, and the call was terminated.

Aerrow's curiosity got the better of him, and he couldn't help but ask. "What _is _that?"

"Oh, this?" Eros held up the glowing square. It had an amazing screen that was obviously activated by touch. "It's an iPhone. See, there's this dimension-"

The radio on Aerrow's sleeve crackled. It was Venus. "Eros," she barked. "You don't seriously plan on divulging all the secrets of the universe in one day to these people, do you?"

He frowned. "Sorry, mom."

"Hm." The call fizzed out, and Aerrow's curiosity remained unsatisfied. Still. There was the ever important issue of Piper getting kidnapped by a lovestruck Dark Ace they had to worry about...

But other than that, this day was Just. Great.

OOO

A/N: I want an iPhone...

EROS! GIMME!


	14. Follow the Bouncing Girdle

"Can you, like, stop doing that?" Stork whined. Venus had propped her high-heeled feet up onto the Condor's control panel. And it was pissing Stork off.

"Doing what, dear?" she asked, fluttering her lashes. He sighed and pushed her legs away.

"Putting your feet on my ship, that's what."

She rolled her eyes. He'd been whining about her doing this or that for the past hour and a half. She didn't want to do this, but...

"Stork?"

He turned to face her. She was sitting cross legged at the table, the girdle around her waist flashing. She blew him a tiny kiss through the air; it seemed to fly towards him and land, right on his cheek. Something flicked on inside...something...something _wonderful_...

"Aaaaah..." Stork drooled.

"That's right, dear," Venus drawled. "Follow the bouncing girdle."

OOO

A/N: Thanks to Xekstrin for the idea.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!


	15. No Problemo

"I hate Venus..." Piper mumbled.

"What's that?" Dark Ace turned to look at her, a stupid grin plastered on his face.

"Eh, nothing!" she chirped. "Nothing at all!"

"Oh. Because if something's bothering you, don't hesitate to let me know."

_Oh, nothing's wrong, Dark Ace. Just the fact that you're obsessed with me and have kidnapped me and are now flying me to who-knows-where. NO problemo, _she thought to herself. After a brief prayer that the others would find her soon, Piper proceeded to lean back in the skimmer seat and attempt a quick nap...

--

Aerrow and the others landed on the Condor's runway, Eros crashing face first into the metal, then bounding up. "I'm okay!" he proclaimed. No one even batted an eyelash. He frowned. "No one cares about me..."

On the ship, Venus was trying to keep a salivating Stork from pouncing on her. "Hello...dears," she panted. "Get...off...of...me!"

"Marry me!" was Stork's only response.

"Mom..."

"Yes, dear..."

"Did you use the girdle again, or what?"

"Well, he was pissing me off-"

"Oh, yeah, and he's totally making you laugh with glee right now."

Venus shot her son a dirty look, before kicking Stork in the gut with her foot. He crumpled backwards into an unconscious heap of green. Junko merely sighed, then picked him up and left.

--

"So...where are we going?"

He was silent.

"Hello?"

Silence.

"He-lloooooo?"

More silence. Piper slapped her forehead. Great. Not only did he love her, he was mute, as well.

Juuuust wonderful.


	16. Radio Contact

With Stork safely locked away, and Aerrow flying the ship passably well, the Condor flew on through the night.

Venus and Eros had decided to stay, lest some other unfortunate mishap should occur in their absence.

I'm using fancy language because fancy language makes me smile. Moving on...

"I'm hungry," Finn proclaimed at the top of his lungs. "Piper, make me some...Oh, yeah." His face turned downwards. "I miss her."

"You mean you miss her cooking," Aerrow growled.

"Okay, then, why do _you _miss her?" Finn demanded, standing.

"Because...well, because she's a good navigator," Aerrow spluttered. Finn, Venus, and Eros rolled their eyes simultaneously.

Denial.

Junko just shrugged.

--

Piper and the Dark Ace landed as soon as it became too dark to fly; he started a fire while she sulked by the skimmer.

Suddenly, her eyes landed on something that could just save her sanity: a radio.

_Yes._

--

_Crrrrk, pop, crrrk..._"Hello?"

The radio crackled. Aerrow abandoned the controls and jumped; Finn had to spring to his feet to keep the entire ship from slamming into a low terra.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Shhh!" the other end hissed. "Quiet, or the Dark Ace'll hear us. It's me, Piper!"

"Piper! Where are you? Come back and make dinner!" Finn barked. Eros slapped a hand over the blond's mouth, while Aerrow resumed the conversation.

"Where are you?" Aerrow repeated.

"I'm not sure. Somewhere north of Atmosia. I couldn't see the compass when we were flying...Wait! He's finished starting the fire. Gotta go." And then there was a click, and Piper was gone.

--

That night, after the Dark Ace had thrown a blanket over her and left her to sleep, Piper gritted her teeth and envisioned her hands around Venus' alabaster neck. It helped with the venting. And then, against her will, a few tears and a strangled sob escaped her. Immediately, his voice appeared.

"What is it?"

She swallowed harshly before answering. "I want to go home." Her voice sounded so childish, so weak and painful.

On his end, nothing but quiet.

OOO

A/N: Er...

Eh...

Oh, yeah: Poll. Go. Vote.

Three words that I wish all readers were hardwired to obey. Those and "Review."


	17. A Fawning Idiot

She decided, the next morning, that if he was going to be like this, she might as well milk it for all it was worth.

"I'm hungry," she stated, trying to sound as snotty as possible. "Get me food."

So he sits down on the skimmer in front of her, and they fly towards a more populated terra. Surprisingly, he's fairly well prepared: two Chroma Stones are in his pocket. _Darn it_, she thinks. The plan had been to expose him, but obviously, some sane part of him still knew that most of Atmos hated his guts.

After a large breakfast, they were back in the air. She tapped his shoulder. He landed and dismounted, looking at her. Piper crossed her arms. "If you really love me," she said, "Take me back."

"No." He grabbed one her hands; she resisted the urge to slap him. "I need you with me."

"So what do you intend to do? Fly around Atmos with me forever?" she growled.

"Yes."

He let go of her and got back in the skimmer. She sighed. "What's it going to take to make you stop loving me, then?"

He turns around and looks at her. Something in his eyes flashes. "Nothing," he says, plain and simple. She sighs and sits back in her seat, counting the minutes to her brain's eminent explosion.

OOO

A/N: Aaaaaaaw...

That's sooooo cuuuuuute!

R. E. V. I. E. W. What does that spell? I dunno, but if you do, then...then...

If you know, then click the pretty little button down there that says, "Go." I have a feeling it leads to something pretty.


	18. Forgetting Repercussions!

Stork was let out from his room around noon, since Venus had assured the boys that the spell would have worn off by then. Sure enough, the Merb was back to his hermit-like, doom-predicting, self.

"You've got a penchant for messing things up, don't you?" Aerrow said, frowning at Venus. She shrugged.

"If you think I'm trouble, dear, you should meet my relatives. Eris, in particular..."

"Aunty Eris? Oh, she's real fun. Parties like there's no tomorrow," Eros laughed. Then his face turned straight. "Then again, she did start the Trojan war."

"The what war?" Junko asked.

Venus slapped Eros, then turned towards Junko and grinned. "Long story."

--

Piper and the Dark Ace had to land to refuel. When they were about to take off once more, Piper grabbed the Dark Ace's arm and glared at him, long and hard.

"Let me go home."

"No."

"Look. I don't love you. I don't want to love you. You're a murderer. Sorry to break it to you like this, but..."

"I don't care."

She stopped. "You don't?"

"No." He shrugged. "You could _learn _to like me. Maybe even love me back." And with that, he picked her up and sat her down on the skimmer.

Later that day, when night was slipping by again, and the Dark Ace was asleep, Piper slipped to the skimmer and grabbed the radio. She needed to talk to someone who wasn't driving her insane.

--

The radio crackled, and Finn was the one on "listen for Piper" duty. He yawned and picked up the mouthpiece.

"Master of Ladies speaking, state your problem."

"Finn! God, I was hoping to talk to someone sane."

"Piper! Hey! It sucks here without you, girl. Now, look: if you could just make a steak and mail it to us, I'd-"

Aerrow knocked Finn aside and grabbed the radio. "Piper? You alright?"

"Physically, never better. Mentally...my sanity's getting pushed to its limit."

"Look. Venus told me that there was a way to reverse the spell."

"Tell me. Now." Her voice sounded brittle. Aerrow sighed.

"You have to do something horrible to him. Something...so bad that he'll hate you forever. Not that he really liked you to begin with. But Venus said there were reper-"

"Forget the repercussions, I just want to get away from him," she hissed. "Okay, I got the message. I have to go, now."

Finn suddenly jumped up from the ground. "Again, if you could send us a steak, or even some short rib-AAACK!"

Aerrow ribbed the blond. Hard.

The radio clicked.

She was gone.

OOO

A/N: Dun, dun, dun...

New poll! Go vote!


	19. All Humans are The Same

"Venus..."

The goddess was leaning against the wall, eating a golden apple she had produced from the folds of her dress. "Yes, dear?"

Aerrow frowned. "What _exactly _are the repercussions to this...this...Well, to Piper making him hate her?"

She swallowed, tossed away the core, and sighed. "If she does a good job, and I have no doubt she will, he could snap out of it fairly quickly. That is to say, if he jumps out of love with her, sees her standing in front of him, registers the fact that she just pissed him off, then he could kill her."

"...oh."

"And that's just the first one. Snapping someone out of a spell as powerful as love is painful. It could _damage _him-"

"I don't care about him, I care about Piper. We _need _to find them."

She shrugged. "Dear, I don't really care about what you people think of each other. To me, all humans are the same. But...BLuSH is my purpose, BLuSH is my motto..." Her voice floated into the air.

"Bl...What the heck is 'BLuSH'?"

"Bring Love to U and Save Hearts," was her prompt answer.

Let's just say it brought snickers.

--

"Aerrow, I'm-"

"Finn, if you say you're hungry _one. More. Time..._"

"No, man, I was gonna say, 'I'm totally _staaaarving_.' Big difference."

"Oh, be quiet."

He was busy thinking. About what could happen to her. And his own words. And that _goddess's _words.

_I don't care about him, I care about Piper..._

_...all humans are the same._

OOO

A/N: Okay. The poll thing didn't work. That's the reason why this chapter's crappish. Because...Well...yeah.

Don't ask me why the thing didn't work, my poll-making feature has always hated my guts.

So NOW you can go vote. (grins sheepishly.)


	20. Bringing Up the Old

She was mulling over Aerrow's words.

She had to hurt him beyond comprehension. Physically or mentally, her commander had not made clear, but chances were, the Dark Ace was not one to react much to slaps or bangs on the head with her crystal staff. He'd probably like it. Him being a masochist wouldn't have surprised her in the least.

So emotional pain.

How in the _world _was she going to do that? Piper's brain flipped through the pages of its portable history book. _I could taunt him...tease him...about what he did..._

But for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to get up, walk the short ten feet to his side, and sneer at him for the past.

--

"Think she'll do it?" Junko wanted to know.

"I dunno," Aerrow admitted. "I'd rather find her, get her out of there, and keep her home, rather than have her provoke him to do something...messy."

"Smart thinking, dear, but I'm afraid it won't work," Venus said, butting most rudely into the conversation. Everyone tried not to notice.

"Why not?" Aerrow demanded. "I mean, if we put enough distance between them..."

"Boy, haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'Absense makes the heart grow fonder?'" Eros said.

"You obviously have no idea what 'Out of sight, out of mind,' means, do you?" Aerrow shouted.

"HEY!" Venus shoved the two men apart. "The thing with Eros' arrows is that they don't just stop working because the Dark Ace is away from Piper. Maybe, if you somehow manage to keep them apart for, I don't know, fifty years, it'll start to dim, but until then, he'll dog after her like an idiot."

"He was already an idiot in the first place," Finn added. "We should be used to it, by now!"

--

"You were stupid."

He turned his head to see her. "Sorry?"

Piper swallowed and tried to look bitter, which wasn't hard, yet wasn't easy, all at once. "You were stupid. You still are. Rash, reckless...Is this how you felt when you killed every last one of them?"

He was silent. She furrowed her brow and thought hard. The expression on his face was unreadable.

"I can't love you, because you've done horrible things. You...you stabbed your own Sky Knight in the back-"

"He deserved it."

The words were low, gutteral, not that sappy talk he'd been giving her for the past three days. Was she actually...

...cracking him?

OOO

A/N: Ah...I've been working on Perennial Rose, a burst of inspiration coming from Dashboard Confessional's wonderful song, Dusk and Summer...Jazus Christ, that's an awesome song...

Anyways. Thanks for voting, everyone. New poll! Please, go vote.


	21. The Happy Couple

The fire crackling substituted silence.

"No one deserves to die," Piper hissed.

"Not even me? Not even...not even her?" He pointed north, towards the Cyclonian citadels. And he didn't need to say a word more for her to know that the spell was gone. He stood and glared at her. "Or do you think death's too good for us?"

She had accomplished her objective: get him to...well, not like her again. But Piper's forgotten one _itsy bitsy detail._

The Dark Ace doesn't just shake of insult.

He kills.

--

"Turn right."

The Condor veered, almost crashing into a wall. "FINN!" Stork howled.

"OTHER RIGHT!"

"I thought you said navigating was 'easy,' Finn," Aerrow growled.

"Eh-he-he...funny story, that..."

--

"Look, I didn't mean to totally piss you off, or anything, but at least you're not drooling over me, now!"

"Well, that's just great, isn't it?" he growled, grabbing his sword. The blade was enveloped in red-hot energy, crackling and sizzling like an iron brand. He raised it and sliced at her. She rolled aside quickly, but not fast enough; the metal caught the open skin on her arm. Blood welled to the surface, but she had no time to pause.

"I'm sorry! AH! I just...OW!...wanna go...EEP!...home! Oh, STOP IT!"

Her sudden outburst caused him to pause in his attacks. "What?!"

"I just saved both our butts from who-knows-what! Do you even _remember _what happened?!"

He nods. They both shudder simultaneously.

Then he sighs.

A flash of blue appears in the distance, zooming towards them: the Condor. She glances at it for a moment, and when she turns back, he's mounted his skimmer and taken off, heading north.

Gone.

OOO

A/N: But it's not over, because...because...

Well, I wouldn't want to spoil it or anything.


	22. Home at Last

"So...the spell's broken?"

"Uh-huh."

"And...he didn't kill you?"

"Well, I'm alive, aren't I?"

Aerrow sighed. He hugged Piper for what felt like the millionth time. She brushed her fingers over the thick gauze Stork had placed on her arm, remembered the brief sensation of burning, and smiled bitterly.

Venus walked over and touched her pale fingers to the wound. A curious, tingling sensation took over Piper's arm, and then the goddess smiled. "It's healed as well as I can do it. Although Asclepius would've done a better job..."

Piper peeled the cloth away. Nothing remained of the wound, save a scar, shaped curiously like...like a heart.

"Did you do that?" Pipe asked.

"No, dear. That must've just been how the blade cut you." Venus shrugged. "Sorry for all this trouble. We'll leave, now." She beckoned towards Eros, a sneer on her mouth. "That wife of his has been calling every ten minutes to complain."

"And the Dark Ace...is alright?" Piper whispered. Aerrow furrowed his brow, as did Venus.

"Why do you want to know, dear?"

"Well, I just...Aerrow told me that he could be damaged."

"I don't know." Venus tilted her head to one side. Her hair was long, inky, and black, today, waist length and straight. "Do you want me to find out?"

"Piper..." Aerrow growled, warning tones in his voice.

"Yes," she said, clear, decisive, and...worried. Aerrow frowned, but too late! The goddess smiled, and she and her son disappeared in a flash of light. The scent of lavender and ocean was gone, replaced with the rusty, woody, and altogether wonderful scent of home.

Piper smiled. She was glad to be back.

OOO

A/N: And it feels like happy ending, but it's not!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So go vote on my next poll! I love polls!

Oh, and review. But only if you want to...


	23. Sick Leave

"Bleh."

That was the extent of the Dark Ace's explanation, when his Master asked where he'd been.

And then it was to bed.

He woke up in the middle of the night, a film of cold sweat over his body. His head felt light and woozy; when he stood, it was as if...all the blood had drained from his brain. The ground hadn't felt extremely far away before, but it did now, especially since he fell...

Right.

To.

The.

Floor.

BAM!

On his knees. On his side. Vision blurs. Just an awful lot of dark...and then...he _swears _he sees a face...Goddamn it, he swears there's a face...

OOO

A/N: The rut is gone! Poll! Oh, go vote on the poll!


	24. Fired the Hard Way

"...no."

"So let's recap the past fifteen minutes of your life, doctor." She glared at him. "You walked in. You took one look at him. You determined that there's abso_lutely _nothing you can do to keep him from no longer existing." She smiled sadistically. "How am I doing so far?"

"Er...very...well, your highness?"

"I thought so. Then you turned around. You saw me. You stuttered incoherently like the bumble-head you really are. And then I _fired _you."

He blinked. "You...you did?"

"Oh, I DIDN'T?" she exclaimed, her voice drenched in ooey-gooey sarcasm. "My, my, I must've _forgotten_. Well, in that case, I better do it now." She pulled out a crystal and slammed it to his chest. "You're fired," she snapped.

In a matter of seconds, the Blazer began to glow, and the smell of burning fabric filled the air.

"AAAAH! GET IT OFF ME!" And the unfortunate doctor proceeded to charge out of the room.

Cyclonis sat down on the only chair in Dark Ace's sparsely furnished room. Watched him sleep, his breathing ragged and labored.

"Damn it," she grunted to herself, for no apparent reason.

And then she got up and left.

OOO

A/N: So obviously everyone can tell who won the poll.

Flibber-ti-gibit, believe it or not, someone actually voted for the Repton option. Whoever that was, I'm not sure if I should commend you or get you locked up, but either way, seeing that little green bar next to his name made me crack up. Filled my mind with all sorts of plot-bunnies and crack!pairing ideas that I soon shot dead, because there's just something extremely disturbing about that...that...sorta...thing.

I'm not sure why.

It just _is_.


	25. A Little Bit Longer

She walked into his room again, hoping for him to be sitting up and glaring at something. Or maybe even standing and rummaging about for...for...

...stuff.

Cyclonis wasn't exactly sure what the Dark Ace _rummaged _for, whenever he felt the need to rummage. She wasn't even sure if he _did _rummage. Now that was a good question: Does the Dark Ace rummage? And if so, what for?

_Okay. This is PROOF I'm insane. _

But the doors slid open to reveal him painfully asleep. His breathing was so loud, his chest rose so slowly...and every now and again, a horrible little shudder would rip across his body, making the entire visage of a dying human seem all too real. The movement made it become truth.

She stared for a little longer. Wished for a little longer.

Wondered why she was wishing.

For a little

bit

longer.

--

She had sent her son back to Olympus; when it came to more delicate operations, Venus flew solo. "Where are you going?" he'd asked, somewhat out of responsibility, although she could tell that he was aching to get back to Psyche.

"Cyclonia." She paused, pursing her red lips. "The citadel."

Something told Eros it wasn't for the scenery.

OOO

A/N: Arrr, getting a tad darker, isn't it?

Poll, poll, poll...

...and review. NOW. Growl.


	26. The Goddess of Love in the Slammer!

She kept on running her fingers over the scar. It was a pretty little thing, a bumpy and pale mark on her arm.

Aerrow noticed, and he smiled thinly. "You alright?"

"Yes."

"Promise you'll _always _be alright?"

Piper leaned against him.

"Promise," she whispered.

"Do you think _he's _alright?" Aerrow mumbled.

She just shrugged and let her smile shrink a little. And then: "I hope so. For our sake."

--

The palace was Dark with a capital D.

So no wonder Venus crashed into an adjacent wall. No wonder there was a huge, metallic, "GONG!" No wonder about fifteen anxious guards came scurrying, desperate to make a good impression on their Master.

The goddess of love found herself quickly arrested.

The man behind her was speaking into the radio. "Yessir. Yeah, we've got this totally hot chick--I mean, er, un-identified female, and she's on her way to the prison..."

Now she _could _have used magic...

...but that wouldn't have been as fun, you know?

OOO

A/N: There was a tie between AerrowXPiper fluff, (oh, you rabid fangirls,) and Venus getting put in the slammer. So...I did both.

I'm just awesome like that.

(This is where you review. Hint, hint.)


	27. A Bundle O' Love

"Why do _I _always have to be the one who does this...crap?" Ravess mumbled. Snipe merely stared at her blankly. She sighed and started for the prison. "Come ON," she growled.

"I have to..._go_," he whimpered, dancing back and forth and pointing at the bathroom.

"Oh, _fine_, join me later, then," she growled. Ravess stormed down the slippery steps, nearly colliding with a Talon as she went. She grabbed him by the armor and shook him savagely.

"Sorry, ma'am!" he yelped.

"Where's the prisoner?"

"Second cell to the left. Can't miss her."

"Hm."

Ravess tossed him up the steps and continued on her way. As she arrived in the dark hallway, she noticed an abnormal gathering around what appeared to be their captive's cell. A large crowd of Talons were whispering quietly around her. Ravess stormed over and shoved everyone aside.

"Out of my way," she growled. Strangely, they all had extremely vacant looks in their eyes...

The prisoner was sitting on her cot, looking quite pleased with herself. Ravess frowned.

"Hello, darling," the woman drawled, her dark hair falling in front of her eyes.

"Don't 'darling' me, intruder, the Master wants..." But the sentence sort of petered off. The woman's _smile_, that was what did it...that perfect curve of the lips. And she looked so neat, so lavishly bundled up...

--

Venus chortled inwardly as she worked her magic.

This woman was her ticket out of here.

OOO

A/N: Xekstrin knows where _this _is going. Don't you?

Poll, please. Please, poll?

Please VOTE on poll?


	28. Tussles

Snipe was quite shocked, to say the least, when he entered the prison to see his sister about to kiss another woman.

It's not every day such visions enter your brain.

Venus was desperately trying to keep Ravess from lunging through the bars at her. One pale hand was on the Cyclonian's forehead, the other on her shoulder. Ravess was drooling buckets. A puddle of sludge was on the floor.

"Kiss me!" she barked.

Venus was wondering where she'd gone wrong...

Snipe lumbered over. "Sis, why do you want a girl to kiss you? Aren't girls not supposed to kiss--"

"JUST GET HER OFF ME!" Venus shrieked. Snipe shrugged and wrapped his huge arms around Ravess' waist.

"C'mon, sis, we have to go--"

And then a door opened, and Master Cyclonis appeared, standing in the middle of the hallway, her jaw on the ground. Everyone silenced. Slowly blinking three times, she took a deep breath, before turning around and quietly ascending the stairs.

Things this weird do not deserve to be remembered.

OOO

A/N: (grins)


	29. Frankfurters in Midair

The Dark Ace had positively no idea why fifty hot-dogs were floating around in front of him.

He was seemingly suspended in mid-air...

...and frankfurters were drifting about.

He grabbed one and sniffed it. It _smelled _like a hot-dog. It _felt _like a hot-dog. It most definitely _looked _like a hot-dog. But did it taste like a hot-dog, was the question. He shrugged and took a bite...

--

Cyclonis had resumed her seat near the Dark Ace's bed.

Ravess had been restrained and was now in her room.

The prisoner had been moved.

Snipe was asking Talons questions that were being answered quite evasively.

Really, the entire day had been a perfect shambles.

The young ruler huffed and buried her face in her hands.

And then...out of nowhere...

...someone tapped her on the shoulder.

OOO

A/N: Abujejejejejeh!

Okay. So the last chapter is from Xekstrin's loverly idea. And this one was written solely because Child of October hoped it would be. New poll, readers. NEW POLL!

And review. Puh-leeeze?


	30. Psycho Psyche

So the hot-dog was a hot-dog.

That proved nothing; he still had no idea why they were just...dangling around. He seemed to be standing on nothing but nothing...

Besides, hot-dogs tasted disgusting when they didn't have all them fixin's.

_DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE?!_

Suddenly! A voice out of nowhere, and it sounded strangely familiar...

--

"...death!"

Stork had just finished telling everyone the possible dangers of flying upside down, (Finn's suggestion,) when there was a painfully familiar flash of light.

"Venus," Aerrow growled.

But no. No, it wasn't Venus. See, in case you've forgotten, she's currently behind bars. Long story.

"Eros?" Piper stepped forward. "What are you...? And who's that with you?"

It was indeed, Eros, and beside him was a petite little blond with a tilting smile on her lips. "Psyche," she said. Her voice sounded like birdsong.

"Well, hell-ooooooo, Psyche," Finn crooned, eyebrows shooting up.

Junko shoved his friend behind his back and smiled innocently.

"This is going to be a long night, isn't it?"

OOO

A/N: Dark Ace and his hot-dogs won. (I know what you're thinking, pervert. Go away.)


	31. Venus in a Bikini! Hypothetically

"Soooo..."

Venus was sprawled across the cot, glancing every few moments at the guard outside her cell.

"Yes?" He turned towards her and grimaced. "Whadya want?"

"Oh, nothing much..." She picked at her nails. "Funny, how they still insist on guarding me..."

"What? You mean that stuff you did to those other guys?" He chuckled and turned around. "Forget it. I'm not scared of you."

She pursed her lips, then stood and leaned against the bars, smiling. "Do you think I'm hot?" she said, all of a sudden.

He wheeled around and looked at her. An eyebrow shot up, as he eyed her suspiciously. "W-well, sure. Sure, you're pretty hot."

Venus reached out and ran a pale finger down the guard's chest and grinned. "If you think I'm hot now, you should see me in a bikini."

OOO

A/N: If I were capable of writing lemon, I would totally have Venus rape every single guard who crosses her line of vision.

Why, you may ask, did I write this chapter?

Solely for the LAWLS.

Now please go vote on the new poll.


	32. A KissSorta

Aerrow and Piper were sitting side by side on the balcony.

The sunset was lovely, as was Piper's face. Aerrow found himself staring dreamily at her darling features...How every line melted perfectly into the other...How her eyes glimmered like fire...She turned and smiled...They leaned closer...

Suddenly, Radarr jumped up between them. Piper's lips landed smack on his little, wet, nose. The creatures shrieked in surprise, then jumped back into the ship.

Aerrow sighed in disappointment.

Piper blushed.

--

Venus was getting tired of her silly little games.

Muttering an ancient spell, she caused the guard outside suddenly fell over, fast asleep. She chuckled and placed a hand on the lock; it clicked open. Stepping out into the hallway, Venus straightened out her dress and started up the stairs. Finding an abandoned closet, she slinked inside and closed her eyes. "Find them," she muttered to herself...

A pale image of her body floated from her, through the door, and up the stairs, as if guided by some invisible force. And it was headed straight...

for the Dark Ace's chambers.

OOO

A/N: Hmm...bit of a weird chapter...

BUT AT LEAST I UPDATED!!!

Now, you must review. Because you must. You don't really want to know what'll happen if you don't. But let's just say...

it won't be pretty.


	33. Best Thing That's Ever Happened, NOT

Cyclonis turned around from her dozy state of mind to see...a sort of ghost-like, transparent image of a woman. In a dress. With...a low neckline.

The young tyrant shuddered. "And who might _you _be?" she growled.

"I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you, dearest!" Venus crowed. (Of course, Cyclonis doesn't _know _that the woman's name is Venus, or that she isn't even really...human. But let's just try to keep a third-person sort of attitude, eh? Besides...she learns her name right about...)

"I'm VENUS!"

Cyclonis' lip curls up. "You're a planet?"

Venus frowned. "Excuse me? I am most certainly not a giant green gassy ball of...gas! I am the Goddess of Love, darling."

Cyclonis snorted. "Love is overrated." Venus lifted her arms; small hearts rained down from the ceiling. Cyclonis flicked them off of her robe with distaste.

"Oh, really? Because it's thing that can save your commander right there," she said, pointing at a still unconscious Dark Ace. Cyclonis raised a dark eyebrow and rolled her eyes.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Venus leaned against the wall and smiled sadistically.

"It means, daaaaaahling, that you have to..." She flicked a piece of hair behind her ear. "...kiss him."

OOO

A/N: Oh, dear. Cyclonis isn't going to take this well, is she?

New poll. Go vote.

YAY!


	34. Three Bodies

Multiple things happened next to Master Cyclonis.

Her knees were the first things to give out. They sort of buckled together, smashing against each other. Then it was her ability of speech; her tongue sort of lashed about like a half-dead fish. She then proceeded to crumple to the ground, eyes rolling back in their sockets, her head smashing against the chair she had occupied moments earlier.

_Whoomp._

Venus stepped distastefully over the young ruler's unmoving body and knelt beside her.

"Wow," she mused. "She must really like him, if she faints when I mention lip contact."

Suddenly, the door opened, and in stepped Ravess, come to investigate the loud noise. _She _couldn't see Venus, but she _could _see her Master, lying in an undignified heap on what looked to be a very unclean floor. "Oh, my!" she gasped; the poor woman was still recovering from her attack of love sickness. Her legs wobbled like jelly, before she, too, lay in a little pile of angular elbows, knees, and hair.

Venus brushed off her dress. "Great. Now I've got _three _bodies to deal with."

OOO

A/N: Poll results were pretty close:

She faints: 25 percent

She hits...or at least, tries to hit...the stupid goddess: 16 percent

Ravess walks in and decides she wants to be the one to kiss the Dark Ace. Cyclonis agrees: 16 percent

Ravess walks in and decides she wants to be the one to kiss the Dark Ace. She and Cyclonis fight over him: 16 percent

I don't care about what happens to Cyclonis; make Aerrow and Piper kiss already!: 16 percent

She totally agrees with the idea because she's just always had the hots for the Dark Ace: A sad little 8 percent. (I think I know who voted for this one. Cough, cough.)

NEW POLL!


	35. Infiltrating the Palace, Er, Fridge

"OW!"

"SHHHH!"

"So why are we here again?!"

Aerrow turned towards Eros and Psyche, who grinned sheepishly from behind. The team of four was climbing up one of the back hatches of the Cyclonian palace, and things were getting tight. I believe "sardines" would be appropriate?

"Because I'm afraid of what mom's doing, is all...I mean, seriously. You'd be worried, too, if the Goddess of Love was your mother."

Everyone paused.

"True that," Piper mumbled.

--

Finn, Junko, and Stork sat around the Condor, doing absolutely pretty much nothing.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen...

_Mine...ALL MINE...All...mine..._

Radarr sat on the tiled floor, wolfing down banana after banana. Between bites, little churrs of bliss escaped his furry mouth.

Aerrow needed to leave him behind more often, he concluded.

OOO

A/N: There wuz a tie.

Unozah poll awaits, guys!


	36. Glitch In the System

"Piper..."

"Yes, Aerrow."

"Do you have the map?"

"No, Aerrow."

"Ah. So who's got the map?"

"You, Aerrow."

"Eh...no I don't."

"Wait...so if _you _don't have the map...and _I _don't have the map...Eros?"

"Don't look at me."

"Psyche?"

"Nada."

"Damn."

OOO

A/N: A short chapter if I ever saw one. (shrug)


	37. De Voice

The horrible thing about invisible voices is that...they're...

Well, they're invisible.

The Dark Ace walked about his spaceless, boundless new state of mind, looking for the source of the annoying, mind-boggling voice. "Helloooo?" He munched on another frankfurter. "Hellooooooo?!"

"HELLO."

"Holy Chri-!"

"I AM YOUR..."

Silence.

"My what?" he growled.

"WELL...this will sound cliché, but--"

"Do you _honestly _think that I care about whether or not your statements are...cliché or not?"

"No."

"Then spill it."

"Okay...I AM YOUR CONSCIENCE."

Dark Ace almost choked on the bun of his hot-dog, he laughed so hard. Finally, he gasped, "I admit...it...that was...so...damn..._hahahahahaha..._cheesy!"

The voice

was not

amused.


	38. Wakey, Wakey

A splitting head-ache and a crazy bitch. That's what Master Cyclonis gets to wake up to this fine afternoon.

"What the he-?"

"You fainted, dear," Venus snapped. "There's someone else over there; poor thing's still asleep." The goddess raised a slim eyebrow. "You alright?"

"No, I am-"

"Good. Because now you have to kiss him." She pointed at the sleeping Dark Ace. "It's almost like Sleeping Beauty, but not really!"

Cyclonis frowned. "Look, even if I _were _to believe you, what makes you think that I'd actually want to put my lips onto..._his_?!"

"Look, dearie, if you want him to live, that's what you have to do. Otherwise...well, he dies. It's that simple. There's no substitute for woman's kiss. I'd make _her _do it, but she's so darn skinny and anorexic looking. Wouldn't want to dump _her _onto a man."

The Master sighed.

This wasn't going well.

OOO

A/N: Recently got a comment that says, and I quote: "This is getting quite old. There is very little funny left. I say you drop it." If anyone agrees with aforementioned comment, please let me know. If my readers aren't happy, then I'll drop it! Simple as that.


	39. No Relish Included

"...So..."

The voice mumbled something about cheese and ear muffs.

The Dark Ace paced meaninglessly. "What's been...goin' on lately?"

"NOT MUCH. YOU HAVEN'T EXACTLY CONSULTED ME ON MOST OF YOUR DECISIONS."

"Well, how was _I _supposed to know I had a conscience?!!!"

"...I'LL PRETEND I DIDN'T HEAR THAT."

"What, you're not insulted or anything, are you?"

Silence.

"Look, I don't..."

Silence.

"I can't believe this."

Silence.

"Oh, for the love of...hot-dogs!"

"I LIKE HOT DOGS!"

The Dark Ace brightened. "With relish?"

"I HATE RELISH."

"..._nevermind._"

OOO

A/N: Life is good. Life is good.

Hot dogs rule the world.


	40. UnKissable

He looked really strange and..._un-kissable._

She sat beside him and wrung her hands, leaning in every now and again, only to find her courage dissipating before she could get close enough. Venus tuttered and kicked Ravess' shins every so often with joy.

Finally, Cyclonis looked up and blanched.

"How does one go about...kissing a person?" she mumbled, blushing furiously.

Venus face-palmed.

This was going to be harder then planned.

OOO

A/N:

...

...

...

:)


	41. Lessons in the Art of Love

"So you've _never_ been kissed?"

Venus' incredulous glare radiated... incredulity... across the room. Cyclonis squirmed slightly, before shaking her head.

A simpering look appeared on the goddess's lips. "Oh, my poor baby. Come here and let momma Venus give you a hug."

"Eugh, no!" Cyclonis cringed away. "Look, just tell me how I'm supposed to do this and we can get it over. I'm not screwing it up and having to do it again."

The goddess sighed. "Alright. You've gotta part his lips a little... Yes, like that, and then you can choose either one, top or bottom, sweetie, it doesn't really matter... Oh, dear, I hope no one takes that out of context..."

"...erg." Cyclonis bent over...

OOO

A/N. I was in the shower when my block for this finally broke. I didn't even get around to conditioning. My hair's gonna look like crap in the morning, but this finally got updated. Whoopers.


	42. The Incredible Man

The Dark Ace was incredible.

As in, incredibly drunk.

_Incredibly, incredibly drunk._

"Hic. Wow," he slurred. "I c'n ev'n get wast'd in my own heard. Head. Hic."

"YES."

"That's pretty...purty...pretty impressive."

"Hm."

"So I just imagarne... imagine... whatever... and it'll... 'ppear?"

"SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES."

"Can I imagine... a nonexistent hangover?"

"...no. I mean, uh, NO."

"...damn."

"SO WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET WASTED?"

"Well, consid'ring you tol' me a couple of minutos... minutes... 'go, that I was gon' get kissed by m' _boss_... _WELL_..." He took another swig out of a large bottle of sherry.

"IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM."

"Any way I can... avoid that... sit'ation?

"THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR." A pause. "ACTUALLY, I'M ALWAYS HERE, BUT YOU JUST TEND TO IGNORE ME. BUT UH... LET'S DEAL WITH THIS _AFTER _YOU WAKE UP."

"W... wake up?"

"ACCORDING TO YOUR ALCOHOL INTAKE, YOU WILL PASS OUT IN ABOUT THIRTY-THREE SECONDS."

"Huh. Whadya know. I've got a smart-aleck conscience. Hic."

"ONE QUESTION BEFORE YOU FALL ASLEEP."

"Right."

"WHY SHERRY?!"

"...Because beer tastes like pig piss."

And then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the floor, snoring. If the conscience had a face, he would have been shaking it.

Sadly.

OOO

A/N. Beer tastes like pig piss. Not that I know what pig piss tastes like, but... yeah. Thanks for the idea, Xekstrin. ;) Don't get drunk at the afterprom.


End file.
